In the West Wing of the hospital,
I'll terrorise the nurse,
watch as I annoy the doctors,
listen as they scream and curse,

Flying down the corridor
in Mr Smith's wheelchair,
Scaring the WRVS,
watching porters tear out their hair,

Sleeping in the next bed,
to an Irishman called Patrick,
I came in with a broken foot,
but next stop - Psychiatric!

You Were Right Mr Lennon

You were right Mr Lennon,
ahead of your time,
Gunned down by a madman,
whilst still in your prime,

Working class hero,
who died far too young,
before you were ready,
your last song was sung,

Along with your friends,
George, Ringo and Paul,
musical genius,
one and all,

Life goes on for us,
whilst you look on from above,
You were right Mr Lennon,
"All you need is love".

Dave The Fish

I had this fish called Dave once,
He really was the best,
'cos his dorsal fin was yellow
and he had silver on his chest,

He'd swim around the tank all day,
or just sit on the bottom,
Enjoying all the views
in seven seconds he'd forgotten,

He liked to hide behind the reeds,
getting in a stew,
Waiting for some food,
(Well there's nothing else to do!)

Sadly he stopped breathing,
Not that he wanted to,
So we sent him to fish heaven,
I lie we flushed him down the loo..

Dear Journal

I open the gates of my mind to you,
to judge, to laugh, to cry,
analysing the words I write,
with just one question, Why?

You have your own opinions,
of the man who hides behind,
The world opened Pandora's Box
be careful of what you find,

Documenting feelings,
events of every day,
memories saved for reference,
that just won't go away,

So I ask of you Dear Journal,
Pray they like what they see,
cos behind every single entry,
is a little piece of me.

Driving Test

I'd like to wish you all the best,
for your imminent driving test,
I think you'll pass with flying colours,
Green, Puce, White, Grey and others,

You're sure to sail the three point turn,
although your passengers show concern,
and despite your eyesight not being great,
you'll read that Mini's number plate,

I'll state right now that you won't fail,
although the instructor is a little pale,
Be confident, you're not a flop,
don't forget the emergency - STOP!!